REJECTION HURTS!

At the beginning of the year, I knew exactly what my plans were and had timelines for them. I was going to be done school in April, look and get a job in May and relocate fromVictoria to Vancouver. 

Errrr...everything went as planned till April..life was good and I did finish school and then things stopped working out. I looked and looked for jobs, I applied to various companies and didn't get anyone to call me for an interview. Whats going on? I had the perfect resume and cover letter. Then I got 5 interviews and they all said no to me; "sorry we went with another candidate, while we thought you were a good candidate you don't have enough experience, it didn't work out well for us at this time..whoa I heard it all and i was very devastated. 

I had helped my friend put her resume and cover letter together, coached her before her interviews on how to interview perfectly and she got a job after her second interview. While I was very happy for her, that made me feel even worse about myself, I felt not good enough and dumb. 

My relocation plans didn't go as planned either. It was the most difficult process ever, finding a house was tough, the actual relocation was pretty hard, had to give out more than half of my things because the cost of carrying them through the ferry was crazy. What a life! I had such a meltdown. I thought God would compensate me for being sick and not getting a job and would make this one go easy at least..but I guess God doesn't do compensations, he makes you go through the process. 

Rejection hurts and it hurts really bad. 

But giving up is not an option for me. I got a part time job and I'm taking a little break from applying for jobs to recover from the heartbreak of being rejected. 

Oh well i guess thats life, I don't even know how to cope anymore; maybe not make plans and just go with the flow but won't that mean I'm not being proactive? I'm really confused. I just want to be happy. 

“You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other, and darn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way.” ~Elizabeth Taylor

UPDATES!

Wow, its been such a long time since I posted on my darling blog! 

I have been so busy. So I finished school in April and decided to move cities for better opportunities. 

The move was very very very hectic, but hey, have moved and I'm settling in, I call it my happy place. 

Also, I got a job! Although its part time as of now, I'm very happy I have somewhere to go and I'm getting paid. Looking for job sucks!!!

As for diabetes, it has not been under control so much, just because I am very stressed and unsettled. 

I just thought I should post this update and will write full details of what have been up too later. 

I missed blogging, its indeed very therapeutic for me. 

XoXo

Wemmy.

DIAVERSARY!

Wow...its been one full year since I got diagnosed with diabetes!

It has been a year filled with lots of tears, anger, heartaches, heartbreaks, disappointments. In a million years I never thought I would be sitting here jabbing myself with insulin, pricking my fingers and all other hassles that comes with diabetes or even have diabetes. But hey, here we are.

It has also been a year of doctors visits and lab tests, I really don't like going to the doctors, they always find something(in my opinion). I have had to make lots of trips to the doctors and God has blessed me with very kind doctors. I'm very grateful for that.

I decided to reflect on my life this past year and I have gone through a whole lot, i don't even know how I'm still standing or how I keep going, I have had lots of things thrown at me and truth be told, It has really affected me. Sometimes I wonder if i would ever go back to the very happy Wemmy I used to be. I don't know if this is how life is for everyone but it has been kinda crazy for me this past year.

But I'm not gonna give up, I'm gonna keep going on and doing my best. I have come to realize that diabetes is a journey, its really not going anywhere, I have to live with it and take care of it my whole life.

I couldn't have survived without the amazing people that have supported me, to every single one of you I say a big thank you from the bottom of heart.

One year down, forever to go!

XoXo,

Wemmy

DIABETES BLOG WEEK: DAY 2!

Many of us share lots of aspects of our diabetes lives online for the world to see.  What are some of the aspects of diabetes that you choose to keep private from the internet?  Or from your family and friends?  Why is it important to keep it to yourself?  (This is not an attempt to get you out of your comfort zone.  There is no need to elaborate or tell personal stories related to these aspects.  Simply let us know what kinds of stories we will never hear you tell, and why you won't tell them.)

I'm a very private person and I don't share lots of things about my life. I can count the number of people that know I'm diabetic. No, I'm not ashamed that I have the disease it just works for me that way.

Diabetes is one disease most people feel they know a lot about or have solutions for. It annoys me when people say things like: you had way too much sugar, just stay away from sugar, drink this water and you would be healed..errrr just shut up please. I was dealing with low blood sugar one day and my sister goes, have you used your insulin...really???!!!! I said to myself thats why I don't share my experiences. Living with diabetes is hard enough I don't need anyone to frustrate me even more 

There is nothing wrong with sharing with people and I do share when I have to, I tell my parents everything, my very close friends and my siblings. I check my blood sugar anywhere and give myself insulin whenever I have to, I must say though, I get quite a stare but I don't care. I need to take this to stay alive and I don't think the bathrooms are clean enough for me! 

I created this blog just to let out some steam and it has been a great decision, I have also learned a lot and felt encouraged through the Diabetes Online Community.

photo credit: newline.com

I CAN DO IT ALL!

In the UK, there was a diabetes blog theme of "I can...”  that participants found wonderfully empowering.  So lets kick things off this year by looking at the positive side of our lives with diabetes.  What have you or your loved one accomplished, despite having diabetes, that you weren't sure you could?  Or what have you done that you've been particularly proud of?  Or what good thing has diabetes brought into your life?

This is my first time participating in the diabetes blog week and I'm new at blogging. 

When I was diagnosed with diabetes I was told a number of things I can't do...I can't eat this anymore, I can't get a manicure and pedicure(my fave things to do), I can't do this, I can't do that. Needless to say I thought my life was coming to an end. I was overwhelmed and very sad. 

I quickly adjusted and was my happy self again, living life and coping with my diabetes, then I became very sick and was told my diabetes was no longer T2 its now T1....wait what? How can that happen? I was very angry, to make matter worse I was all by myself, no family members to hold my hands and tell me it would be ok. 

I had midterms coming up in 3days, school was very busy, had lots of papers (group projects) due. The endo and GP advised me to take some time off school, my parents told me to take the semester off and just focus on getting well. 

I decided not to take any time off, rescheduled my exams and was determined to continue with school and do very well also, at the end of that semester I had all As and I was very proud of myself. 

Today I have two degrees, one in Psychology and the other one in Human Resources.

I believe I can achieve whatever I want to achieve, diabetes can't stop me, it might make the process difficult or painful but it won't stop me from achieving my dreams.

I can do it all!

GO ASK YOUR MUMMY!

In honour of Mother's Day coming up on Sunday, I have decided to have this write up...Go Ask Your Mummy!

Mothers are the best! They love and take care of us unconditionally, they scarifies for us and make sure we are ok, at all times.

However, history has shown over time that daughters are at risk of getting the diseases  their mother's battle with. Mother's have a way of hiding what they are dealing with, just to protect us but I think thats really not protecting us, its putting us at risk. Have that conversation with your mum today, ask what you are at risk of having, what is she dealing with, what your grandma dealt with, your aunties(paternal and maternal)?  Knowing your family history can help prevent any kind of disease lurking in your body.

Yes we are get scared, we say things like "what I don't know won't kill me", well what you don't know might just be killing you slowly. Early detection of any kind of disease is always better. Share your family history with your health care provider, they might be able to give you tips on how to manage the condition. And just because you mum has these diseases or it's in your family doesn't mean you will get it automatically, it just means that you are likely to have them and you can control your health by making lifestyle changes and checking in with your health care provider form time to time.

Even if your family has a clean bill of health, you should be aware of the diseases you can get form your environment, stress, and the kind of life you are living.

Its very important to eat well, and to be physically active.

Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful, strong and loving Mums out there.


XoXo,
Wemmy.

TIRED!

That's really how I feel right now! I'm tired of your shit, diabetes!!!! Today has been one of those days...I woke up with a banging headache and was very dizzy, so I knew my blood sugar must be very high. I struggled to get my meter and checked my blood sugar....it was 29.5....whooaaw! Did someone inject me with sugar while I was sleeping? Really can't explain that. My blood sugar at bedtime was 10.5, so what happened to you almighty blood sugar?

I took three units of apidra (insulin) and just stayed in bed waiting for it to come down. Two hours after taking apidra I checked again and it had gone up to 30.6 (my blood sugar don't joke!). So I took 7 units of apdira and waited for three hours, it came down to 25. 6 and all through the day it was between 25.6 and 27.8. I didn't eat for the most part of today and just felt horrible. 

I literally feel like a human pin cushion right now..pricked my fingers like 15 times and kept jabbing my tummy. 

Dear Diabetes, you are very rude and selfish! I have practically changed my whole life because of you, give you all the attention you need and spend so much on you, yet you keep doing whatever you like and making me feel like crap. 

Expecting hypoglycaemia very soon because of all the insulin I have pumped into my system. 

Just another day in my life...no big deal!